I feel like I keep posting quotes from this book "Searching for God knows what" by Donald Miller but only because it is truly fantastic. I highly recommend this book to anyone. He shows a beautiful perspectives on Christianity. Here is another quote that I loved:

"My friend John MacMurray tells me the first book written in the Bible is the book of Job. Moses wrote Job before he wrote Genesis, most scholars agree, and so the first thing God wanted to communicate to mankind was that life is hard, and there is pain, great pain in life, and yet the answer to this pain, or the cure for this pain, is not given in explanation; rather, God offers to this pain, or this life experience, Himself. Not steps, not an understanding, not a philosophy, but Himself"

If you haven't read the book of Job, it is basically about a man that loses everything. I mean everything you can imagine and not imagine. His life pretty much is the crappiest and most difficult. This book really brings forth the point that God understands our pain and is in control. At the end of the book, Job still stood faithful to God which I know that I could not do. But

God is in control.

God understands.

God is the only rescue. 

God can be trusted through every life experience. 

God is here, there, and everywhere. 

What a beautiful story of Job and Donald Miller's book. 

"And so from the beginning, from the very first story told in Scripture, God presents life, as it is, without escape, with only Himself to cling to."

Greater Miracle

"Religion is a big, beautiful, ugly thing. I read recently where Augustine said, 'The church is a whore and it is my mother.' And for reasons I don't understand, Jesus loves the church. And I suppose He loves the church with the same strength of character He displays for His love for me. Sometimes it is difficult to know which is the greater miracle."


-Donald Miller


Perfectly and beautifully describes the way I think about religion and the church. 

To all the single ladies

This weekend a simple prayer was placed on my heart. It was a prayer to all the women out there who are still looking for the one or the right guy for them. I was thinking about how truly blessed I am for my husband and I only want that for everybody. 


This is the prayer that I prayed this weekend to all my wonderful friends that are single and I thought I would share...


I pray that you find someone who adores everything about you. Not just that your beauitful on the outside, but somebody that sees through that and admires your past, present, and who you want to become. 


I pray that you find someone who always trying to better themselves. I pray that you find someone who knows they are not perfect but strives to make your whole relationship stronger and healthier.


I pray that you find someone who fears God. I say fear because that is what it really means to love God is to fear His all-mighty strength and power. I pray that he strives to strengthen himself by finding himself in the Lord. 


I pray that you find someone who compliments and challenges you. 


I pray that you find someone who believes in your dreams, your goals, and your mistakes. I pray you find that person that encourages you in your dreams and never doubts your ability to achieve them. I pray that he is your biggest cheerleader. 


I pray that you find someone who is your best friend. 


I pray that you find someone who suprises you. I know sometimes I am amazed at Philip's ability to truly know me and even does the cleaning, which is the best gift to me. 


I pray that you find someone you can let your guard down with and be vulnerable to. I pray that the walls that surrond our hearts today, slowly go down around him. I pray that he encourages you to be vulnerable and not hide everything. 


I pray that you find someone you feel safe to argue with and know that it is a healthy part of any relationship. 


I pray that you find someone who you can serve and it feels right, not like your independence is going away. 


I pray that you find someone who you feel that intense chemistry and romantic connection with. I pray that he will be a wonderful lover to you. (Notice this is not first but it is still so important in any healthy relationship) 


I pray that you find someone who respects you.


I pray that you find someone who accepts your mistakes and knows that he will make mistakes as well. 


I pray that you trust in the Lord that he will come in God's perfect timing so there is no need to rush. Trust me you will know in your heart when that time is right.

Bucket List

I love having a bucket list of things I want to do in my life. It's just fun to have goals and then cross them off my list. 

• Go to a Superbowl and the Cowboys win
• Own a Fresian horse 
• Live in another country 
• Adopt a child(ren)
• Train a wild mustang 
• Go on a mission trip to Africa
• Marry the man that God created just for me- done :)
• Visit Bandon, Oregon 
• Be a New York Times Bestselling author 
• Go Skydiving 

to be continued :) 

Mmhh.. Love a good book

This week I have been reading the book "Searching for God knows what" by Donald Miller. And what a fantastic book so far. Donald Miller is by far one of my favorite authors, if not my favorite. He has such a way with words that makes you feel like he is a real person. 


I have read a lot of Christian novels and most of them have some great points but I don't really enjoy them because I feel like they aren't a real person. A lot of Christian authors write as if they know all the answers and give you a list of things to do so you can know God like they do. And for me, I might remember one or two things but rarely nothing. The reason why I adore Donald Miller is because is perfectly and honestly real. He is real with his emotions, his relationship with God, his doubts, his life, and everything in between. I read his novels and actually think that I could be his friend because he gets it. I think the best way to put it is that he is not intimidating and makes God seem close and not a list away. 


In this novel, Miller talks about the Christian religion and God. He writes so beautifully about what he has discovered about faith. I am only half way through right now but here are a quote or two of things that really stuck to me and make perfect sense. 


"The very scary thing about religion, to me, is that people actually believe God is who they think He is. By that I mean they have Him all figured out, mapped out, and as my pastor, Rick, says, 'dissected and put into jars on a shelf.'"


I love that because it holds so much truth to it. I think a lot of Christians, including me, walk around thinking that we know God so perfectly. We think that we get Him. Yes, we can understand that He is loving, compassionate, redeemer, and such and such. But He is so much bigger than that. And I completely agree with this statement because I have seen it first hand. 


I went to a Christian school for just a semester of college and thank goodness it was only that long. Before I went to the school, I was so excited and could not wait to be surrounded by loving people who were open and non-judgemental. I was excited to have roommates that wanted to walk by me through struggles and have grace over my mistakes. I dreamed of learning about God everyday in a community. I was beyond ecstatic.


To the say the least- those dreams and wishes did not come true. 


I think that there is a dangerous problem with Christians school no matter what learning grade because I have gone to a few over the years. The dangerous problem is that most people in the community think that they actually have God figured out. Many people (not all by any standards) in those situations feel empowered because they think they understand everything and are closed off to new ideas or views. 


I went to the school having big dreams and I think in the beginning, I thought I had God mapped out and I completely understood Him. But boy did He show me, through that semester, that I was wrong. 


I don't know God because I never will know Him completely. I mean come on He is God, the creator of everything, the breathe of life, never beginning and never ending, all powerful, all mighty, and the list could go on. So how could I know Him? How could I understand everything about Him? 


My journey is about discovering Him and exploring these new ideas about Him. That's what it's about because that's when other people will actually want to know the God we serve. That's how people stopping hating religion and learn to welcome it because it doesn't seem like a list of perfect statements followed by perfect feelings followed by perfect friends followed by perfect life. 


Today, I am finally thankful for my semester at that Christian college, which took almost a year to be thankful for. I realized that I am wonderfully and fearfully made. I understood that we are not meant to be in a community judging everybody else and never ever ever ever forgiving. I discovered that Christians, including me, are far from perfect so we really need to stop acting like it. 


The best thing I finally understood was why people don't want to join the Christian religion. 


I get it. I understand it. I can completely relate why people are turned off. 


I finally understood that it's us that turn people away from Christ because we think we actually completely understand God. 




"I am only saying I think I know who He is, then I figure out I don't know very much at all. For instance, and as I have said, a lot of people believe God responds to formulas, but He doesn't. So that is one example of how our idea of God is always becoming a bit more accurate. And that's one of the things you notice about Jesus in the Gospels, the He is always around saying, You have heard it said such and such, but I tell you some other thing. If you happened to be a person who thought they knew everything about God, Jesus would have been completely annoying." 


Brilliant. 





Side Note- I do not hate Christian schools or churches. I believe there are many positives to them but I was the girl to see many negatives. These negatives have made my stronger in my faith so I am grateful. However, I hope one day I can go back and enjoy a Christian gathering but today is just not that day. And I am okay with that. 

FAVorite Movie

The ultimate and best best best best movie ever made to me is The Lion King. 


I know I am a huge kid at heart. My husband laughs at me everyday because I always want to watch some animated Disney movie when we choose movies. And it's one thing I can't wait to do with my kids...in about five years of coarse. 


There are about a billion reasons why it is my favorite movie. I literally could go on and on but there is one reason why it really sticks with me. It's about a journey of a person going through a difficult moment in life and with the help of others, overcoming it. Not just overcoming it but allowing that difficult moment to empower you to be a better person. To me, that's just beautiful and it's always a goal for me. 


Another huge reason why I love this movie is the lions. I have an odd obsession with lions but really only male lions. It's a weird obsession, I know. I love male lions. When I go to the zoo, I literally can and have sat in front of the lion pen and just watched them for hours. I really don't care about any other animal. I love Narnia movies primarily because of the lion. And the best gift my husband ever got me was a huge lion stuffed animal. 


And honestly I hope one day that I can come back and be a male lion not a female for sure because they are just lame. Hopefully God can make that happen :) 


Just watch The Lion King and trust me you will understand why I adore it and why it will always and forever be my favorite movie. 

Hard on the Inside

Today as I do my normal routine of stalking people on facebook and on certain blogs (which is a bad habit because sometimes I think I define the word "facebook stalker"...it's a sad truth) I came across a quote that really sunk deep. 


My wonderful and beautiful friend, Jessica, put this quote on her blog today:


"Women are soft on the outside and hard on the inside, while men are hard on the outside and soft on the inside."


For me, the women part describes me perfectly. I honestly don't believe their is a more perfect yet short way to describe me. It's not necessarily something I am eager to announce to the world but it's the honest truth. I feel that inside my heart. I feel that hardness inside my bones everyday.


The biggest challenge for me spiritually, emotionally, and mentally is to be vulnerable. It's beyond difficult for me to just sit down and open up. I know that is my number one problem with my relationship with Christ. It aches inside because I know that I hold a wall up with God. I know I do and it brings tears to my eyes as I write these words. 


God's desire from me is my heart. Not just pieces of it that I show Him on occasion and not bits that I show every once in a while. He desires every bit and piece that I try to hide from Him. He desires and patiently waits for me to slowly give them over. To me, God is so big and beautiful when I realize just how patient He is with me. Because I honestly don't always understand why He stays around but He does. And it's so overwhelmingly beautiful. 


I am very good at not showing my brokenness. I am the queen of covering up my fears. And it's not something I want anymore. I don't want that crown...I just want to worship the Heavenly crown of Christ. 


Day by day and prayer by prayer, I am slowly giving it away. For me, it's a process because it's not something I can do overnight. It takes time to give up my hardness especially when it comes to my dad. There is no subject or time of my life that I am more hard about then my relationship with my earthly father. It's the most difficult, most painful, most devastating, most heart-breaking, and most special. 


I have a Great Wall of China surrounding that subject. Probably about twice the size of that wall. And one day I know I will be able to tear those walls down but honestly I have come to realize that might only be when I am in Heaven. In Heaven, there will be no pain or hardness for women to hide behind. There will just be joy and praise for our Creator. 


I desire to tear down those walls on Earth.
I desire to be free of fears and free of hardness.
I desire to overcome everything.


And somehow and someway I will. 


Someday I will be soft on the outside and the inside. 






To help me conquer this goal and not just let it sit aside and wait. I have made a plan that instead of my first thing every morning to be check facebook, it will be to grab my bible and my journal. I will sit down and just breathe with God before I start my day whether that be 10 minutes or 2 hours. It doesn't matter to me or Him...I just want my heart to be in it so I can work on this Great Wall of China.